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Carol of the Bells (LEAP Style)

A delightful, heartfelt take on the Carol of the Bells from Law Enforcement Against Prohibition.

Video Title: 
LEAP cops say seasons greeting and end the drug war!

Fruit Flies Self Medicate with Alcohol

In a bizarre twist, the news outlet I’ve taken to calling the Pwned By Sadists Inside the Möbius Beltway Hour published an interesting finding.

Apparently fruit flies drink alcohol to self medicate. It keeps them safe from parasites. Some of you may be thinking, “I’ve heard of that: absinthe, the wormwood in absinthe is well known to flush intestinal parasites.” But that’s only partly what is at work, based on my understanding of this report.

When was the last time DrugFree.org published the results of urine-testing their Executive Officers?

Never — Why get caught?
0% (0 votes)
Never — It’s easier to avoid the horrendous embarrassment of false positives that way!
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Never — What business is it of yours?! We demand to test you! How dare you question us?!
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Never — We are pure as Congressman Souder, Pastor Haggard, etc…! You can see how much we hate a thing by our railing against it!
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Once per Century
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Once per Decade
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Once per Year
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Once per Month
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Once per Week
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Once per Day
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Total votes: 0

When was the last time DrugFree.org published the results of urine-testing their Board of Directors?

Never — I didn’t sign up for this! I’m rich, you sure ain’t gonna stare at me while I pee!
0% (0 votes)
Never — It’s easier to avoid the horrendous embarrassment of false positives that way!
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Never — What business is it of yours?! We demand to test you! How dare you question us?!
0% (0 votes)
Never — We are pure as Congressman Souder, Pastor Haggard, etc…! You can see how much we hate a thing by our railing against it!
0% (0 votes)
Once per Century
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Once per Decade
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Once per Year
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Once per Month
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Once per Week
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Once per Day
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Total votes: 0

When was the last time DrugFree.org published the results of urine-testing their Employees?

Never — What do you think they are, Olympic gold medal winners? Presidents? Authors? Successful business people?
0% (0 votes)
Never — It’s easier to avoid the horrendous embarrassment of false positives that way!
0% (0 votes)
Never — What business is it of yours?! We demand to test you! How dare you question us?!
0% (0 votes)
Never — We are pure as Congressman Souder, Pastor Haggard, etc…! You can see how much we hate a thing by our railing against it!
0% (0 votes)
Once per Century
0% (0 votes)
Once per Decade
0% (0 votes)
Once per Year
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Once per Month
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Once per Week
0% (0 votes)
Once per Day
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Total votes: 0

Pining for the Realism and Sincerity of Hollywood Versus Washington

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

Attributed to: 
Fred Thompson

Any Fool Can Make a Rule

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.

Attributed to: 
Henry David Thoreau

Propaganda and Footnotes

Now that the handouts have stopped evolving so much it’s time to address an accusation some have made against them, “propaganda.” Since the handouts don’t have enough space to cite every source, I

"Christian" "Science" Monitor Editorial and Parody

Our own Reverend Dean Becker wrote a recent commentary on a "Christian" "Science" Monitor Editorial. His commentary will be posted soon.

Drug Truth Network's 9-Year Anniversary. Here's Hoping for 0 More!

I would like to congratulate the Reverend Dean Becker for working hard these past 9 years broadcasting various programs on the Drug Truth Network, all in the name of ending Drug War and all its ass

FOX Anchors Go Kaarazy for Cannabis

Pete Guither has a post titled More Lies and Deception - Police Chief Kim Raney and Al Crancer, Jr.

In it he takes them to task over presenting an associative relationship as though it was a cause-and-effect relationship.

Deathtime Achievement Award Goes to U.S. Agency!

An as-of-yet unnamed organization has awarded its “Deathtime Achievement Award for Sitting in the Seat of God” to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency. Yes, you read that right!

Loony Laws from the Power Mongers, People with Friends in Business, and the Holier-Than-Thou-Congregation

Loony Laws book cover Perhaps you did not know you and those you love are breaking many laws of the United States of America! Just imagine if the poor police had to carry around the full text of every law that exists and had to enforce them.

In this series of articles you will find a growing list of "Loony Laws" which clearly originated from people who love to lord authority over others (1, 2, 3), or had friends in business they tried to channel money to, and even members of the Holier-Than-Thou-Congregation who believe it's their duty to force their version of religion on others.

One of the sources will be a children's book entitled, "Loony Laws… That You Never Knew You Were Breaking," by Robert Wayne Pelton. There is a picture of the book's cover on the right. The book is a riot, but since it's directed at kids it doesn't go into much detail on the background of the laws. And Mr. Pelton is so clearly fascinated with his long list of loony laws that even the Preface and Introduction are chock full of loony laws, at the expense of background information about himself, those who supplied him with these laws, what's being done about them, how they are handled, and other "About" information it traditionally provided in those sections of books.

But don't let my somewhat harsh-sounding summary above keep you from following along here, or checking it out — if you can spare the money for a copy of the book, or it's in your library — it is definitely worth locating and reading. This is from the end of the Introduction:

But relevant or ridiculous, these statues are still around — unless they've been repealed indirectly by blanket or collective legislation.

Most of these strange laws were obtained from friends, associates, attorneys, and people met in passing while I traveled around the country. Many other legal oddities have been patiently assembled during my excursions throughout the world.

Other sources will be referenced as appropriate.

Prohibition Industrial Complex, "We Are Too Big to Fail!" Demands Bailout!

The U.S. Prohibition Industrial Complex claims it is "too big to fail."

Holier-Than-Thou-Congregation Condemns Lawbreaking Jesus for "Sending the Wrong Message to Children"

The Holier-Than-Thou-Congregation (HTTC) recently created a website then issued a statement and flyer condemni

Drug War Wart

I know I promised the first installment of the interview with Joe "Ironman" Siler soon, and it is coming soon.

Stephen Colbert Chides U.S. Over Private Prisons

In a segment he calls "The Word," comedian Stephen Colbert analyzes the ramifications of recent news that Arizona is going to be yet the latest mistaken state that decides to turn its prisons over

Video Title: 
The Green Mile

Thug Addicts

Yes, sorry to say there are some seriously flawed and diseased minds out there: thug addicts.

Drug Warrior Nightmares of Being Forced to Eat Granola

In a moment of teasing exaggeration, it was recently theorized that part of the reason, for the ongoing commitment to the Drug War, is a fear on the part of the Drug Warriors that

Actress Megan Fox Says, "Legalize Marijuana"

Fox calls for marijuana legalization

Wanted: God, for Creating Illegal Plants!

Those who know better than God are on the hunt for him!

Video Title: 
God Wanted Cannabis

Sucrose (Sugar) Declared Schedule 1 Substance -- "Rock Candy" a National Menace

This fake news just in…

The dangerously addicting white powder known as “sugar,” also known as “sucrose” was declared a Schedule 1 Substance by the Drug Enforcement Agency today. A substance with NO MEDICAL VALUE, and EASILY ABUSED. While there were howls of protest from the Sugar Refiners Association, their financial contributions to elected officials were no match for the moral dominance of the Drug Warriors and the contributions from the Prison Industrial Complex.

The Committee Hovering Incessantly Making Prohibitions (CHIMPs) primarily wrote the legislation, but it was supervised closely by the Committee Of Accepting Corporate Handouts (COACHs).

Saving Children From “Rock Candy”

Said one Drug Warrior who did not wish to go on record, “Everyone knows that sugar rots your teeth, it probably rots your brain too, but what do we know, we’re not doctors.

“We were glad the provision to charge those with ‘rock candy,’ the concentrated form of powder sugar, was passed hands-down. No one in their right mind wants to see children sucking on ‘rock.’

Lipstick Declared Illegal!

This fake news just in…

Mild case of illegal vain-dope-wax abuse. Proving lipstick causes cancerous gangrene and severe facial disfigurement!! Earlier this month, lipstick was declared illegal in a move by Congress and the President to end its use completely. “Vain-dope-wax,” as it is now called, is currently public enemy number one.

LIMP CHIMP Chairman Outlines the Law

The chairman of the Lipstick-Image-Mania Prevention sub-committee, which falls under the authority of the Committee Hovering Incessantly Making Prohibitions (LIMP CHIMPs) trumpeted:

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